Online dating is an ideal method for introverts to find romance. When IRL prospects for partners are low, online dating provides a bounty of new people to explore from the comforts of home. Introverts have more time to process before responding, allowing to go at a pace of their choosing without feeling drained. There’s ample time to interact so you can adequately figure out if there’s potential or not. With the current popularity of online dating, there is a wide selection of apps and websites to choose from, serving your exact intentions and qualifications.

Despite these benefits, online dating is still dating, which means it’s wrought with frustration, difficulties, and potentially traumatizing experiences that make for good stories. This process can become ridiculously complicated when you add the compulsion to overanalyze into the mix. Some people will have an easy, breezy experience, finding the perfect match right away. But for the rest of us, well…the struggle is real, especially if you’re of the discerning type. Here’s a list of some unfortunate hardships you may have experienced as an overthinking introvert swiping or typing their way to love.

  1. Creating a profile that reflects the honest truth of your introverted preferences without making yourself sound boring.
  2. Describing yourself through a list of interests that make it seem like you rarely leave your house.
  3. Selecting pictures you’re willing to publicly share that prove you’re not boring and that you definitely leave your house.
  4. Initiating anything.
  5. Finding a creative way to start a conversation when you finally decide to initiate.
  6. Mustering up the courage to message someone you would never dare approach in person.
  7. Being told by your social circle that being picky is a good thing, and as a result, not getting any compatible matches.
  8. Being told by your social circle that you need to be more open to find love, and as a result, getting too many incompatible matches.
  9. Accidentally swiping right on someone you know, then brainstorming ways to handle that if and when you bump into them next.
  10. Purposefully swiping left on someone you know, without hesitation.
  11. Instantly matching with someone you find extremely attractive, getting your hopes up and a complementary ego-boost….only to never hear from them.
  12. Coming across a profile describing the mate of your dreams: right age, desirable features, compatible interests, and NOT matching with them. Why is the world so cruel?
  13. Receiving too many messages.
  14. Receiving no or very few messages.
  15. Ignoring the “hey!” messages in your inbox… because how exactly is one supposed to respond to that, other than responding with an unimaginative “hey!” back?
  16. Wondering if anyone you’ve started to talk to have even bothered to read your profile.
  17. Acquiring unsolicited photos of a “certain” nature, whether you wanted them or not.
  18. Flirting through text without being over-the-top, uncharacteristically spicy.
  19. Stealthily editing, then re-editing, messages without the three dots giving you away.
  20. Regretting what you sent right after you sent it. Rereading it and letting the shame sink in further.
  21. Writing a well-thought out, potentially award-winning paragraph of response …only to receive a sentence or less back.
  22. Attempting to delay meeting up because you’re not quite ready for it—without appearing rude, cold, or disinterested.
  23. Conducting innocent social media stalking while in the back of your mind feeling like they’ll magically know you’ve been snooping.
  24. Subsequently forgetting what they’ve already shared with you through messaging vs. what you found when you were innocently stalking them.
  25. Choosing the exact right place with the exact right environment for a coffee or drinks pre-date.
  26. If you’re both indecisive: “So, what do you feel like doing?” “I don’t know…what do you feel like doing?”
  27. Scheduling a date if you’re both busy or if you’re both fastidious; a task that can become surprisingly grueling quickly.
  28. Figuring out what to wear. It’s either fun or a nightmare.
  29. Coping with the first date jitters.
  30. Showing up to a date and learning that the person looks nothing like their photo. Feeling like a shallow bastard for being turned off by that.
  31. Small talk conversations. ENOUGH. SAID.
  32. Thinking of new conversation topics on the spot to get out of that small talk zone.
  33. Enduring a date where your date talks so much that you never say a word.
  34. Enduring a date where your date talks so little that you’re forced to exhaustively talk the whole time.
  35. Dodging too personal of questions politely.
  36. Suddenly becoming aware of your body language mid-date.
  37. Maintaining a comfortable stream of eye contact after you’ve caught yourself spacing out for who knows how long.
  38. Handling a touchy date when you don’t enjoy being touched by people you don’t know very well.
  39. Communicating your interest in someone via body language when it just doesn’t come naturally to you.
  40. Smoothly signaling that it’s time for you to leave, even if you’ve enjoyed yourself.
  41. Maneuvering through the “do we hug or not?” awkward pause.
  42. Evading an unwanted kiss on a mediocre date.
  43. Wanting to kiss at the end of an exceptional first date, but feeling too shy to make the first move.
  44. Being stood up or cancelled on at the last minute.
  45. Dealing with being ghosted after you’ve started to become invested in them.
  46. Telling someone you’re not interested in them romantically without hurting their feelings.
  47. Being told that your date is not interested in you when you were genuinely interested in them. Coping with the ensuing pain of rejection.
  48. Accepting a date with someone whose profile said they wanted a relationship, but realizing once you meet up with them that they were only interested in hooking up.
  49. Using online dating for hooking up, and realizing your date was interested in something more.
  50. Putting effort into online dating for so long, with so few results, that you just lose faith.


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